i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
