Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize