There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
