i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
