I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
is wine microwaveable?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
