talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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