then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
