Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
