I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Let's get the cat blown out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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