this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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