just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
