Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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