If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
