I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize