just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
