You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
