What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
