why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Actions speak louder than pants.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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