Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you inspire me to be a worse person
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
