My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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