I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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