Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said her name was "party"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
