Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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