You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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