he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
