I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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