i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
