I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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