You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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