Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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