I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pooping to opera.
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