So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
