this boner is exhausting
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
