either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
