I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
