So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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