If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
