dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
