Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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