no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
