i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
