Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Will you blow on my dice?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i out mim tonsoeep
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