Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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