i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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