I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
