Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
