she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
