you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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