How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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