Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found puke in my bra..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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