i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
