theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am full of burrito and curiosity
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
why is half of my head shaved?
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