I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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