Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize