I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I smell stomach acid.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
