3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
