Its about making memories worth repressing
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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