***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
