Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
