No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
