I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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