we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
