I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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