you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
