the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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