Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
