so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
