I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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