i barfeds in our rink
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
