I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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