in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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