And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
