i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
