the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
