Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
