I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
